Thursday, June 15, 2006

School days...gumawningteacha

Its time to go to school. And nowhere do I feel it as keenly as I do when I get up at the crack of dawn with the doorbell ring of the semisomnabulent milk man. Finish the rest of the necessities of the day, bathy bathy, tea chai shai and get down to the mammoth task of wakey wakey the brat. The brat has in the normal course of his hyperactivity, probably nodded off at some unearthly hour like two in the morning and therefore seven am is midnight for him. He resists gentle nudges and calls violent and gets positively lethal when I go in for the wet towel method. Then having bawled our head off for a good ten minutes, we consent to sit on the potty after much cajoling. Then momma dearest will beg and plead and dance and sing in the manner of a performing flea to get the brat to drink his milk. Having seen other kids his age, he is among the runts of the class. Calcium deficiency rearing its ugly head again. This is a kid who was in the 95th percentile for height and weight and now has dropped down to the 50th. Anyway. Such paranoia apart, brat seems to be having a great time at school. What makes life great for parents is the provision of hot snacks by the school which eliminates the need to make breakfast for the brat. Then comes the task of bathy and dressy, by which time he is dragging me out of the door regardless of the fact that I am in my bathrobe and he in his undies. We get to school early and play around happily in the compound and get into class quite delighted with the whole exercise. Have been sending him to school without diaper these days and keeping my finger crossed. Toilet training at home has regressed instead of progressing and we are now back to peeing sitting down on the bed, a great demotion from our evolved days of actually telling me that we needed to go bad. Alas and alack. Cant have it all.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Billabong High, here I come....

Tomorrow is the first day of school. He has been to playschool before, but this is a big school. With classes all the way upto the tenth. And a huge school building and many many many children. And strict teachers. Unlike the indulgent aunty of the playschool, the teachers here wont take too kindly to the brat coming in with diapers. So what if he is still un potty trained. I get their point. But I would also like to protest that this child is a wee bit different from other kids. For beginners, he isnt potty trained. And that isnt a reflection on my potty training skills or my inability to be a good mother. Its just him. And him being slow at everything damn task he has to undertake apart from raising cain. They tell me its just a matter of conditioning, you have to take him to the loo and train his mind to pee when he goes to the loo but then there you are. Even after dragging him kicking and screaming to the loo every couple of hours, I have a kid who will stand in a corner and look down apolegetically at the stream of hot urine running down his legs and inform me nonchalantly, "Hot su su." Makes me want to scream. Sometimes I do. He shouts right back at me. So I calm down and wipe the mess and change the undie. And resist the urge to give him a tight hard whack on the bum for peeing just wherever he pleases.
I have brought the bag, the waterbottles, the tiffin boxes, the school uniform and the raincoat. Made him try out his school uniform last night. He insisted on being made to wear the school bag on his back and taken to school. This despite the fact that it was ten in the night and the only schools open were the sorts one doesnt send kids to. And no right thinking adult too. He threw a right tantrum and then flung off the uniform in disgust and went off to sulk in a corner.
Today he needs to be put to sleep at an early hour so he can be woken at the crack of dawn to do his potty shoty and the like, fed, bathed and taken to school. Who am I kidding. I need to sleep early. God knows how on this planet am I going to tweak open my own eyes at the crack of dawn to get all this done. Probably will go off to sleep dropping the brat to school on the first day itself.

Thursday, June 01, 2006


The brat begins school in a week. And no he still isnt potty trained. Its enough to give me the heeby jeebies. And some more. I still have to buy his school bag, books, tiffin book, waterbottle, raincoat, umbrella, shoes and other such niceties. Currently, I am still making out the lists of his vocabulary expansion. I am still official translator and interpreter to the world at large of his speech. Wonder how he will fare at making himself understood in school. Am scared, scared, scared. Anyway, the sis in laws are down and are now understanding a bit as to how difficult it is to manage the brat. And the brat is now in a good mood having lots of kids around at home to play with. His difficult degree is perhaps 10 per cent of the normal right now, and the sis in law finds him difficult to handle. Perhaps she would now have a handle on her telephonic advice on my bringing up techniques.
Okay. I am not a bad mother. Deep breaths Kiran. Calm down.