Friday, November 30, 2012

The brat had his PTM today...

Yes. I woke up in the morning with that same old sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, the nervousness churning the gut, the feeling that I had the Class ten board exam for Physics Chemistry and Algebra all combined in one paper today and I'd blanked out on everything I'd studied.
By the time I'd stepped into school my hands were of the level of clamminess that meant I could only nod politely at people I met. Handshaking was completely out of the question. I shimmered into the classroom with the brat, him all spit polished in his uniform and me, somberly clad in appropriate full sleeved cotton shirt with high neck and blue jeans which weren't too fitted as to render me inappropriate for school setting. I shook in leaf in high wind manner, sat before the little plastic folder containing his assessement sheets. I pulled them out in suitably nonchalant manner, there is a reason I never took to theatre or the big screen and that reason is that I cannot act. The class teacher smiled encouragingly at me, I looked at the marks. Not excellent. But good. I also learnt that absolutely zero concessions were given to him. No extra time, no reading the question aloud, no marks not cut for spelling mistakes, no one on one attention during the examination.
You could say at this point, the good old heart soared into throat and the tear glands decided to dissolve simultaneously, making all attempt at conversation an unseemly honking of nose, daubing of eyes, wondering if eyeliner was as waterproof as it claimed and unintelligible sounds from an overwrought throat. And I was also informed that his remediation sessions with the special educator will now be stopped because the school doesn't feel he needs them anymore. He can cope of his own. Only gravity and the fear of falling on my nose prevented me from doing a Mary Poppins as I heard this. Excuse me while I go off and honk nose into tissue, this is rather a proud mamma moment for me. The brat, he has come a long long way since the time the school recommended I hire a special educator to be with him through his school day.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Of Three Legged Chickens

I reach home from office this noon. On the menu is Chicken curry and rice. The brat, I am informed by daadi, has already had his lunch. Hunger having been accelerated one presumes by. the avian protein in the offing. Daadi, after a recent rather severe bout of food poisoning, has sworn off all protein, including the avian.
The brat pulls my ear down to his lips. "I wantu tell you somethink."
Please go right ahead, I urge him in the gravest tones.
He lowers his voice to a whisper. "I keeped one leg piece fer yu. Eat it." I hugged him, recognising the enormity of this sacrifice. Knowing well he drums up a riot if not given drumsticks. "Thank you love. I think I'll keep it for Pappa," I replied, knowing I wasn't hungry enough for a huge drumstick.
"Wai? No you ead it!"
But, perhaps Pappa would like a leg piece too, I proffered hesitantly. He contemplated the possibility for a long moment, torn between the love for the mater and pater.
"Next time," he said, his voice grave, having reached an appropriate solution like the good king Solomon, "Ged a chikkin wid three legs."
Erm. Okay.
Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Of Mommies and Kiddies and Snow and earthquakes

The other day, the kind people at Phoenix Market City at Kurla invited me to bring along a few friends to experience their mall. With their children. Honestly, given that I am such a stick in the mud about travelling anywhere beyond Andheri, the word Kurla had me groaning into my chin. But then there were many friends I did want to catch up with, and this seemed like a good opportunity to get together. And so it came to pass, that five friends and I agreed to meet up for lunch at Cafe Royal in Phoenix Market City, Kurla and post lunch, the folks at PMC had some treats in store for the kids.

So there we were, me with the brat, two school gate mom friends, with their two boys and two girls each and two blogger pals with their children. The first thing that got the brat's attention was the superhero wall at Cafe Royal.
The other boys as they came in, had a field time identifying all the superheroes on the wall, and interestingly none of them could identify Mr India. While us mommies opted for the fabulous sizzlers on offer, well it would be blasphemy to go to Cafe Royal and not partake of the sizzlers, the kids stuck to pasta and spaghetti and pizza, with the brat opting for Chicken Quesilladas because he was in the mood to try some Mexican cuisine. We topped it off with a Brownie with Vanilla Icecream and hot chocolate sauce. I would say, if there would be one thing, apart from the other attractions of the mall that would draw me back to Phoenix Mall, it would be the Chicken Shashlik sizzler at Cafe Royal. For that alone I would make the trek to Kurla in peak Mumbai traffic. Of course, given the portions, I would starve self for a day before taking fork and knife to it. My greatest regret is that I couldn't finish it.
Post lunch, we trotted off to 5D Storm where, we were promised a 5D tsunami experience. We buckled ourselves in, put on the 3d glasses provided and got ready for the film. Let me say diplomatically that it was with great amount of self restraint that I refrained from squealing in fear as the chairs lurched around in semblance of an earthquake or the blasts of air on the feet like infinite rats running over them actually got me to squeal out loud or how one brave brat voice piped up loud and clear amongst all the horrified gasps and squeals as the show progressed, "Main toh darr hi nahin raha hoon."
We emerged shaken from 5D and trotted on to Snow World. Now me being a person who was probably a reptile in a previous life, the cold doesn't quite suit me, so I decided to sit this one out, but the kids and the other mommies went inside. Here are some pictures. The brat did snowball throwing and iceskating, and the next time he squeals about wanting to see snow, well this is cheaper than a ticket to Himachal or Kashmir.
Here are some pics of the fun the kids had in Snow World, and I hear it is huge. Remember to make the kids wear trousers and socks and shoes if you plan to take them into Snow World, because while they provide warm jackets, the legs are bare and the temperature inside is minus 15 degrees Celsius.

And finally, it was time to go home, which we did after checking out the Disney promotions in the mall.
Here we are.
And here's Anuradha's post on her experience. Interestingly, Phoenix Market City Kurla is the largest mall in the country, with approximately 1.3 km of floor space per floor. Make that four floors. Make that wear sensible walking shoes when you go there.

Sunday, November 04, 2012

An online library for kids

A friend, Devaki Bhujang, has just launched this lovely project. Do check it out.
"Picture this - a lazy afternoon, a bunch of children gathered around grandma, eyes opened wide in wonder and excitement, traveling to places far far away on the wings of her stories. Where have those days gone? In this age of mass media, have we forgotten how to entertain and inform ourselves and our children? Little Readers' Nook is an attempt to recreate those idyllic family story times.  

We are a Concept-based Library for 2-6 Year Olds offering a personalized series of Themed Reading Sets for you and your child to enjoy and learn from, while spending quality time together. Each set contains 4 books, a toy, puzzle or learning aid and suggestions for 3 interactive activities based on a theme - a fun way to explore a concept in its totality and show your child how different perspectives coexist. 

The themes have been carefully designed to engage children's interest, spark their imagination and encourage them to think and ask questions.  However, we believe you, as a parent, know your child best - we encourage you to get in touch with us so we can together come up with a wishlist of themes your child will enjoy. 

Visit, email us at or call 9833778885 to book your Free Trial today!"

Thursday, November 01, 2012

Bye bye tooth fairy, so long Santa Claus

The brat lost a tooth yesterday. Not just any tooth, but a molar. It had been shaky for a while and he had been spending the better part of the day pushing it around with his tongue and complaining about how it impaired his facility with eating complicated stuff quickly. Finally, circa dinner time, we got down to the task of pulling the tooth out, since it was, as the metaphor goes, hanging by a thread.
The brat didn't let me touch said shaky tooth and did the honours himself. I was rather proud of him as he yanked it free, rinsed his mouth of the blood and was calm and collected about the removal of the tooth in question. This is the kind of stoicness that comes from repeated viewing of Rambo, especially scenes where John Rambo stitches up lacerations on his own and without medication in the thick of the tropical jungle. Without sterilised needle and surgical thread.
He handed me the tooth without much ado and sauntered off to do his watch the Doraemon routine while eating dinner. I shoved his tooth under his pillow surreptiously and in the morning, while he was asleep, I pushed in some notes under the pillow in question.
He woke up when woken, it was a school day. "Brat," I trilled, "Have you checked under your pillow, maybe the tooth fairy has left you something?"
He checked under the pillow disinterestedly, found the notes and narrowed his gaze at me. "Did you keep this under my pillow or did pappa?"
I crossed my heart and swore on all that's holy that it was the toothfairy. He sat me down calmly like one might sit a person of limited mental faculties. "Mamma, I'm grown up now. I know there is no tooth fairy, there is no Santa Claus. And there is no Gotham City.
It took me a moment to digest this news. The boy was now nine. I had to stop thinking of him as four. Yes, he was all growed up. Maybe, it is time for me to grow up too.